December 25, 2017


Have you ever sat on a sofa or being somewhere just there particularly not doing anything, and then you start to notice your surrounding.... so you begin to think about it. Well, for an example, every time it rains i'll instantly stop whatever i'm doing and then search for a window where i could see it or if i'm in a secluded area i'll try to find the source of the rain sound. After i found what i seek, i'll just stare at it... and sometimes words... poetic words occupies my mind.

One day i was on my bedroom, sitting there up in my bed with my laptop on my lap. I don't know, maybe i was watching some films or just casually reading tweets at that time. I'm out of time, i don't know what time it was because it's holiday, when i'm on holiday i suddenly will forget everything, especially time. But suddenly, a light passed through my window, i instantly stopped whatever i was into and then looked at it, i was mesmerized for a long time. It was breathtaking, i never experienced something like this before. It's very beautiful, i wanted to live on that moment forever.

Mar 5
#DITS #Sapphire02 

My vision is suddenly dawn 
The bright orange yet seductive purple light passed through my window pane 
I was never one who appreciate this kind of moment 
Until now, that i think of something familiar 
And i just realized that i’ve always been 

It's not that i never got to experience that kind of moment, it's the problem that i never fully got to appreciate it. It has always been there. But i was blinded by what's in front of me. If only i look elsewhere and have my mind open. It's a little thing that i should appreciate and thankful of. On the next day, i was on a car en route from my home to West Jakarta. I'm only halfway there, because it took approximately 45 minutes to get there i used to sleep or if i'm woke enough i'll listen to some songs to chill myself up. That morning i decided not to sleep, because... of the light and darkness, and in between. It is pretty fascinating, my left was completely dark and blue ━yet my right... it's very light and i could see the sun hanging just there at the very bottom of the sky.

Mar 6
#DITS #Sapphire02 

Everything is blue 
Blue for a moment 
I wonder 
Whether i am on the right path or not 
I searched for light, on instant 
Deciding where’s east and west 
Oh, you would not know how relieved i am 
As i see the bit of light painting the eastern sky 
I hovered my sight to the left, still blue and dawn 
As i looked forward, i hope everything will be just right as this moment 
That even though i am in the wrong 
Or i lost my path 
I can still see both sides 

6 A.M.  

To fully appreciate everything is very hard, but i learned that at least when i finally aware of its well being⎼ try to make meaning of it. Big or small, its existence must have a meaning.

December 22, 2017

Film that catches my heart

I promised myself that i will make a list of my favorite films. Well, i really like to watch film, so here i listed a few of my favorite!

Here's some more!
  • 13 Going on 30
  • Star Wars Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
  • Star Trek (2009)
  • Star Trek Beyond (2016)
  • The Best of Me
  • Never Let Me Go
  • No Strings Attached
  • Iron Man (2008)
  • Cinderella (2015)
  • First Daughter
  • Beauty and the Beast (2017)
  • Romeo & Juliet (2013)
  • Brooklyn
  • High School Musical
  • High School Musical : Senior Year

December 20, 2017

To Be Heard

" Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony." - x

The foremost reason on why i liked the Star Wars films, is the many characters of strong women that supports the film wonderfully. At first we have Leia, our princess whom very strong willed and passionate about diplomacy. She's the type to consider every options needed, her voice are heard and respected. You can feel her strength even when she's not holding any weapon. In any fact, she didn't need it. And we met Padme, just look at how Leia's trait came from her mother. Honestly i didn't quite like episode I-III. Other than, yes... Anakin and Padme are deeply in love with each other and their forbidden love story triggers me a bit. Not a fan though. But it's still good. Yes, Padme, oh how to describe her... she's quite tough and persistent at first, yet once we get to know her she's just as fragile and emotional like others. Other than a queen, a senator, she's still a woman.

We also have Rey. Our nowhere girl, suddenly came with the Force inside of her. For many years she searched for her parents, it's her only concern. She's actually kinda lost, yet she still tries to carry on. On The Last Jedi, you could see how lost she is. It concerns me, she has always been alone and when she finally met someone who could understood her it conflicted her again and again. Just wonder, how it hurts her? As a women, it's the most confusing feeling in the world. I can guarantee it. A very hurtful dilemma. Rey, in the end, she decided to carry on, as she always did. But anyway, her best friend is still there, waiting for her. Look at her happy face when she saw Finn!

The last one, she only appeared in one film, but i can assure you that she's my favorite. Jyn Erso, our stardust. Rogue One, surprisingly listed as my favorite Star Wars film too. It affected me the most, i remember that i cried, realizing that a group of people just love and would never stop to bomb places and mostly... peoples. May they find peace with themselves, and realizes that Allah is watching. Erso, she's a chaos, a bit brutal, but she knows what she's doing. She had a hard time and a traumatic childhood,  making it hard to confess her own feeling. So she became a rebel and an independent one. She fought to the very last knowing that it won't end in vain. At least she finally get to know that somebody would be there with her in any worse scenarios. And that somebody is Cassian.

Well, look at that how immersed i was into Star Wars. I couldn't believe it either. I thought that Star Trek is the only space related film that i liked, but i was wrong. Again. But it's okay to be wrong sometimes.



I wanted to talk about women. Not because i'm a women. But because how the situation concerns me. It was a talk for centuries and generations, and i know it won't stop. And because it won't stop, i will not stop talking about it as most of us did today. We call ourselves a feminist who support feminism. By the meaning of feminism, the foremost goal is gender equality. Most people seen it as some kind of movement and an ideology of women hating on men. But no, you're wrong. I repeat, we seeks equality. Means that we believe that women and men are equal, to have the same chance on living peacefully, in an ideal condition in all aspects of life. Nothing more. We didn't ask to be glorified nor exalted. Let's respect each other, shall we?

In this millennial era, things have changed. It became unexpectedly horrifying, i suppose. With all the development of technologies, political conditions, globalization... people changed too. Because we're trying to survive. I guess it is expected that from now on, a movement on feminism will be massive. We finally get to speak our concerns, we wanted to be heard. And if you listens, thank you.

But let's not forget that in the world we live now, it's not everything. We shall look up to the sky and then bend our head to the mercy and greatness of Allah. The One whom we seek help and forgiveness. We shall remind our closest that we are not alone. Do good, and spread kindness.

Most importantly, remind ourselves.

May you find peace within you.

December 14, 2017

The ballad of me and my brain

"And she, too, had known grief. But she wore it wonderfully well."

It has been 2 months and a couple of days since my best friend left. I didn't know how to express my loss other than a silent cry for these past 2 months. I'm definitely not okay, but i'm trying to. When other people asked about it, why he left, i'll tell them why in a very calm manner. But when i got home, i'll instantly cry, for that i realized that i have been trying to hold it. Literally not okay. Now too, i'm writing this with a very heavy heart and puffy eyes. Everyone has their own preference on grieving, mine are thinking of him in such situation that he will be included. The "If only you were here" situation. Thinking how he is always there in every situation i pass through, tell me just how to not think about him?

The month before he left, is a very sad month for me. I felt the water has changed, disturbed. I thought about how to help fix the current. So i did something, with no other intention than i want to make everything right again. But i, a human... i did not posses any power... to change another human's mind or feeling. I failed, but i'm glad that at least i tried. And some at last felt the same, they felt the water.

A few days after he left, my head's pretty much a hurricane. It felt like a dream, one of those dream that you will get. Once... in a while.

Fact #6 
I want to have a guy bestfriend. You know, someone who will be my friend forver. Someone who will always be there when i need someone to cheer me up. hope so.

I used to pray to Allah that i need a brother, i have no older brother or sister, so i always relied on myself. I did everything alone, trust my only self. Or at least can i have a friend who will always be there for me. Surprisingly, Allah answered my pray. On my first year at university i met him. His name is Arfi, born on September 1995. He is basically older than me for a year. I consider him as a brother i never had and the best friend in the world. A brother, from another mother. I couldn't ask for a better friend. Surprisingly, we tend to have interest on the same thing. Music is basically what we like most. When i discovered a new music that i like, i'll tell him on instant, he did the same. We listened to The 1975 and HONNE most. I still remember, those days on the road with the other, singing our favorite songs out loud and we didn't care. Movies, those lists of movies that you urge me to watch. And our plans on going to Japan for the next holiday with our friends. But now we couldn't right?


We've been through a lot buddy. I could not thank you enough for everything. Mostly, thank you for being there with me, through it all. Through the dumbest, happiest, saddest, and remarkable time. No one is going to replace you here, in the very depth of my heart. You, my best friend. Have a good rest...

November 29, 2017

All in the Value?

The day i was so sure that i deserve this kind of happiness, was the day i felt very unsure with what's happening. It lasts for days, i'm not sure if today counted as well. But anyhow...  that kind of happiness mixed with uncertainty triggers me to do something about it, most importantly, to get over it. I spent a whole week processing this 'happiness' and turns out, it wasn't really something i can be happy for and about.

August 14, 2017

(Boy), we're Good Together

entry: 14/03/2017

If you know me then you know how much i love music. Good music.

I enjoy listening to it for hours and more, humming it whenever it pops on my mind, understanding the lyrics and take it to another meaning. There are no day in my life, without music. I actually don't have a very specific genre to like. Of course i like Pop and R&B. Hip Hop, indie, rock, electronic is also on my liking. Lots of people got shocked when they know i was hearing to a certain music that they think i wouldn't like. Well, as long as it is good music, i will appreciate it.

Last Saturday, i am experiencing another spectacular time of my life. The duo who made 3 AM, the one who always making me feel calm at night listening to their music, has finally appeared in front of me. Are you kidding me? I almost sell my ticket and thank God i didn't, i am so relieved. And so, HONNE appeared by the very short distance from me. I didn't even know how my friends and i could take the front row for HONNE. We snatched the barrier and never felt happier than this. In the previous show we watched, we couldn't even pass the tenth or ninth row. Stuck in the middle and getting pressed by an ocean of people. Yet now i could hug the barrier without worrying being dragged to anywhere.

Two tips for you people on how getting yourself on front row:
1- One, Get there as early as possible, even if your favorite band is last to perform. 
2- Two, Oh, Just bear the five or six hour standing :) I know you can do it.

Anyway, the black screen is going down and the huge HONNE letter appeared in front of us. The band was already there, Andy and James followed. Once Andy started singing i couldn't help but smile. They were so good on doing live. I am so happy i got to hear Coastal Love, The Night, 3 AM, Gone Are The Days, Warm On A Cold Night, It Ain't Wrong Loving You, Woman and Good Together. Oh, i felt like i was mentioning all songs. Sorry couldn't help it haha.

February 20, 2017

Sky and Sapphire

I couldn't tell you how much i love my name. For some people, it may be just something to call someone, to be remembered and differentiate from other people. But for me... i'm taking it to another meaning. I became one with the name, my purpose and strength on living.

My mom loves to talk about how and why she gave me the name, neither do i often ask about it to her. It's amusing to know that i originally given three names, and my grandfather opposed it. Saying it has no good meaning and too long. So it left with two names, the first and last name. And funny thing is that i almost named the same as an actress, a famous one in the 90s, Jihan Fahira. I forgot why the name didn't make it, but the 'Fahira' is somewhat similar to my last name. I have to admit that she's very pretty. I spent my childhood watching her tv segment and kinda loving it.

And then in 1996, Indonesia crowned a new beauty queen. A former 1994 None from West Jakarta. The one that everybody knows, Alya Rohali. To everyone tried making jokes calling me Alya Rohali, i'm sorry to disappoint you because it's true, no need for me to deny it because she's the inspiration for my mom giving me the name 'Alya'. Alya is an arabic name, stands for heaven, sky and grandeur.
In addition to the great meaning of it, i am so delighted to be named after a smart and gorgeous woman like her. It even surprised me that we belong to same alma mater. She snatched that None, Puteri Indonesia and Miss Universe Indonesia tittle, not forgetting she also got her master's degree.

My last name is basically a gemstone, a sapphire. The very popular sapphire that we know is the blue sapphire. The blue colour is so deep and elegant, the stone is a tough and durable one next to a diamond. Sapphire is a popular choice for a jewelry. There is one jewelry that's famous for its blue sapphire, the engagement ring of Diana, the Princess of Wales. That one day Diana and Charles walked into that room and showed the ring, the world couldn't help it but making it a headline and won't stop talking about it. It became a trend for years and copied by jewellers all over the world. My mom talked about how she bought an earring which designed just like Diana's ring and how much she adore Diana. To a conclusion, the famous sapphire ring was the inspiration for my last name. A bit of Diana lives on it.

The name, Alya and Shafira, is very precious for me, it is my pride. And so i know that a name is also a hope. A hope from my parents upon me. I am here trying to be well deserved of that great name. It gave me purpose and strength on facing everything. As i said before, it's my pride.

" A woman that is intelligent, placed up high and as beautiful as a sapphire."

January 31, 2017

Nobody's Favorite and the Ultimate Bad Boy

Dan dua orang kakak adik bernama Aldebaran dan Harris Risjad telah mengubah semuanya.

Suatu hari ditahun 2015 gue ke gramedia, dengan harapan menemukan novel baru yang jalan ceritanya unik dan anti mainstream. Gue adalah orang yang kalau milih novel itu bisa lama banget, muter-muter rak bagian novel berulang kali sampai gue ketemu dengan satu novel yang menurut gue saat itu worth to buy. I love being in a bookstore. I could spent my time there for hours. My comfort zone it is.

Rasanya udah lama banget semenjak yang terakhir kalinya gue beli novel dan ceritanya sangat berbekas di hati gue. Dulu ada Sitta Karina, Illana Tan, AleaZalea dan Orizuka dengan novel-novel mereka yang selalu gue pamer-pamerkan ke semua teman sekolah, mempromosikan novel itu sampai mereka akhirnya beli dan baca novelnya. Let me tell you something about them. They were so passionate and put a lot of details on their works. And their story lives.

So, back to 2015. Suatu novel ber-cover biru dengan sebuah sticker merah tertempel di plastik yang membungkusnya menarik perhatian gue. Kalau ngga salah, sticker merah itu bertuliskan 'sold in 11,111 hours'? Pardon my memory but yaa, it sounded like that. Jadi gue ambillah novel itu. Sebuah ilustrasi pesawat yang menurut gue well drawn dan tulisan-tulisan di covernya menarik perhatian gue.

A National Bestseller. CRITICAL ELEVEN. Ika Natassa. Dari penulis bestseller A Verry Yuppy Wedding, Divortiare, Twivortiare & Antologi Rasa.

Hal pertama yang gue pikirkan adalah. " Divortiare bukannya short movie yang ada di youtube ya?". Jadi ceritanya, gue suka banget browsing short movie di youtube dan nemuin satu short movie dengan judul Divortiare dan gue suka banget sama ceritanya. Tapi saat gue nonton itu gue engga tahu kalau ternyata short movie itu adalah adaptasi dari sebuah novel. Saat liat novel berjudul Critical Eleven itulah gue tau siapa penulis ceritanya. Ika Natassa.

In the end i bought it. No need for second and third thought. And the rest of it was me in awe reading it.


Namanya Aldebaran Risjad. Simply, Ale, for short. Jujur gue bingung banget sama cowok satu ini. Pekerjaannya tiap bulan adalah pulang pergi Jakarta dan rig, gue yakin dengan pekerjaan dia yang super keren tapi kayaknya membosankan itu (karena terperangkap di rig selama berminggu-minggu) gaji yang ia dapat besar banget dan deskripsi seorang Ale yang ada dibayangan gue adalah cowok tinggi tampan dengan rambut ikalnya, tapi ketika pulang dari rig yang ia dapati adalah istrinya yang nggak sama sekali welcome terhadap kepulangannya. Lebih tepatnya Ale malah mendapati cold shoulder dari istrinya, Anya. Bingung dong gue, penasaran banget. Tapi ya ternyata sesempurna-sempurnanya seorang Ale, ternyata masih dilanda masalah juga. Yang gue salut dari Ale adalah ia mau berubah dan dengan cara apapun mencoba untuk mendapatkan Anya-nya kembali percaya dengannya.

Because he's nobody's favorite before he met Anya.  And he is willing to do anything to get her back.


Yang satu ini gue gangerti sih, sebenarnya gue lebih suka Ale jika dilihat dari semua aspek. Ale lebih calm, very positive, rajin banget ibadah, mapan. Tapi tiba-tiba ini cowok tengil satu muncul di tengah-tengah buku Critical Eleven sebagai adik laki-lakinya seorang Aldebaran Risjad. Asking Ale about how can he be so sure about marrying Anya. Dan tiba-tiba gue ketemu lagi dengan dia di novel Antologi Rasa yang baru gue beli akhir 2016.

He is the epitome of troublemaker. Everyone, meet the one and only Harris Risjad. Tokoh fiksi kak Ika Natassa yang sukses bikin cewek-cewek satu Indonesia geleng-geleng kepala tapi can't get enough of him. Gue membayangkan Harris Risjad bahwa dia engga setinggi Ale, punya senyuman yang gue yakin sangatlah charming, but fairly handsome as Ale.

Shockingly, setengil-tengilnya Harris, dia ternyata setia banget dan highly value friendship over everything (Not everything, he screwed up one thing). Dua hal yang sangat gue apresiasi dari seorang Harris Risjad. He's that friend who will be there for you after a 2 a.m. emergency call. Apalagi disini ternyata Harris punya cintanya yaitu Keara. Ngga ngerti gue, he's mad about her. Literally head over heels.

He is the type of bad boy that you can't hate, but love.


Anyway, they seems so real for me, that's why i'm making this post. Critical Eleven will also be adapted into a movie, making it more real. I'm so happy when they cast Reza Rahadian as Ale and Refal Hady as Harris. Apalagi Refal yang bener-bener defini Harris, ga ngerti lagi deh gue dia tiap hari insta live, gue bela-belain nonton jam 12 malam nontonin dia.

I don't have big hopes on the movie, the book's already great, but i hope it will be successful as the book. Goodluck to everyone working on the movie and thank you ka Ika for sharing your wonderful story and character. So Hyped!

January 1, 2017


Don't know where you went but you're lost now
Don't know where you went but you're gone now
- Kehlani